Fear Of Abandonment

Fear of abandonment is a staggering worry that people close to you will leave. It can normally be rooted in a traumatic childhood experience, or painful and stressing relationship experience in adulthood. If someone fears abandonment, it can be nearly impossible to maintain healthy relationships. This fear can cause a person to put their barriers up to avoid themselves getting hurt. There are different things that can help with abandonment fear, but it may also be part of a personality disorder that needs treatment. A fear of abandonment presents itself in people who may seem like “people pleasers” or need continuous reassurance that they are loved. There is also consistent anxiety that occurs with fear of abandonment.

There are different types of abandonment fear. It is important to learn about each one and understand what you or someone else may be going through with this fear.

Fear of emotional abandonment

Everyone on this earth has emotional needs. When the needs are not met you feel unloved, unappreciated, and disconnected. You can also feel very lonely, even in a relationship where the other person is physically present.

If you have experienced emotional abandonment in the past, especially as a child, you may be locked in the fear that it will happen again.

It is important to remember, whether you have fear of emotional abandonment or not, that it is no less traumatic just because it is less obvious than physical abandonment.

Fear of abandonment in children

It is normal for babies and very young children to go through the separation anxiety stage.

They will scream, cry, and refuse to let go or leave the parent that has to leave. In this stage, it is hard for the child to understand when that person will return.

When they start to understand when loved one's will return, that fear plays off and starts to leave. For most children, that fear goes away by age 3.

Abandonment anxiety in relationships

You may be afraid of letting yourself be vulnerable in relationships. You may worry about that relationship or have trust issues, which can make your partner specious to you, which can affect the relationship you have with them.

Signs of abandonment fear

• Giving too much of being overly eager to please.

• Jealousy in your relationship or others.

• Trouble trusting your partners intentions.

• Feeling insecure about your relationship.

• Having difficulty feeling intimate emotionally.

• Needing control or being controlled by your partner.

• Settling is unsatisfactory relationships.

It is important to keep in mind that not everyone who may have some of these signs have abandonment fear.

Treating abandonment issues

When treating abandonment issues, the first step is to understand what triggers you and learning to pull back when these triggers come up. It's important to try to get more comfortable with having conversations about your fear in a respectful and calm manner. You could talk to a partner, family member or even a close friend. You will find that it will be tricky to talk with them at first, but over time it will get easier and you will feel much better overall.

Therapy

Therapy will help you identify what is causing this fear and identify your negative thought style. Your relationship with your therapist can give you a sense of having a secure relationship. Working with them can help you establish healthy relationship boundaries and help avoid behaviors that hurt the relationships your have with people.

Self care

It is important to take time to care for yourself, this form of care can help you meet your emotional needs; which can improve friendships and relationships. Some examples of self care activities include journaling, taking walks, meditating, and doing other things that make you feel calm and joyful.

Support

Abandonment issues can develop because of many emotional and environmental needs. If you are experiencing fear of abandonment, it is important to talk to people and maybe even a counselor. A counselor will help you be able to talk about your feeling and help you understand why you may be feeling like this; along with coming up with a treatment plan.