What exactly is anxiety in the first place? Anxiety is an Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur. Anxiety doesn't just affect you as a person, but it also affects the relationships you have with people. Dating someone with anxiety can feel very overwhelming and stressful, especially if and when your partner’s behavior shifts. They may start to shut down, pull away, and behave in a passive-aggressive manner, or they may become more controlling, angry, or overly critical. Just remember that you cannot change or fix their behavior, but try to talk it out and be understanding of their anxiety.
How exactly can I love someone with anxiety and make that person feel safe with me? Below I have listed some tips that may help you get a better understanding of what anxiety can feel like, and how you can make a person with anxiety feel loved, as well as understood.
Become knowledgeable about anxiety- In my opinion, this is the most vital tip because how are you able to comfort a person with anxiety if you don't even know what anxiety is? It is important to educate yourself about the topic and become familiar with the different types of anxiety that your partner may be facing. If you arent dating someone with anxiety, it's also useful information to have.
Know what triggers your partner or friends anxiety- Anxiety triggers are different for every person and there isn't a set thing that triggers anxiety. Being aware of your partner or friends anxiety is a great way to be aware and its a great way to make them feel loved and cared about. Common triggers with anxiety are: Social media, caffeine, negative thoughts, conflict and stressful situations. When you and your partner are aware of these situations, you both can work towards avoiding these things.
Be an active listener- Not only is it great to be an active listener when listening to people about anxiety, but it is a great thing no matter what the situation is. When you are actively listening to your partner they may feel heard and seen, which is important when loving people. Sometimes it can be hard to be an active listener to your partner with all of their anxiety and overthinking, but trust me they can tell when you truly are trying to listen and care.
Practice self care- It is important to study self care with your partner, but it is also extremely important to study self care with yourself too. How are you able to love and take care of someone else when you can't even do it yourself. Make sure you are making time for yourself and your other friends meanwhile you are also making time for your partner.
Be prepared for a panic attack- A panic attack can happen anywhere at any time, so be prepared for it. Panic attacks may include symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, shaking, racing thoughts, a sense of terror, tightening in the chest. The experience can not only be scary for the person experiencing the panic attack, but also for the person with them. It is important to talk to your partner about their coping skills and what you can do to help them in that situation.
Focus on the small wins and be patient- Anxiety begs you to focus on the negative things and thoughts through everyday life. When something does go your way anxious feelings are naturally heightened, this is why it is important to celebrate small wins through everyday life. Celebrate little things that make you feel good, because anxiety cannot compete with gratefulness and joy. This is an amazing tip to lower anxious feelings, it is also an important one.
Set boundaries- Anxiety can result from poor boundaries, and sometimes it's hard to follow boundaries when someone struggles with anxiety. It can be hard to say no to things and people, which can turn into constantly pleasing people, which lowers self esteem. Setting firmer boundaries will help these situations. Realize that you and your mental health are important, you can say no sometimes and it is completely okay. You cannot fix everyone and everything and that is okay, if you need space say so, and if you need to take time for yourself then do so. Everything will be okay and know that you are important, so you need to take care of your mental health.
It can be hard to understand someone with anxiety. Give them a safe space to let them be themselves and be a good listener. Just showing that you care about them, can help them feel seen, loved, and heard. But never forget to take care of yourself, you can't love and take care of someone if you don't love or take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself should always come first. Always remember that what you're going through right now does not even compare to the positive feeling you will feel in the future.
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