Have you ever felt weird emotions and don't quite understand what it means? Maybe you felt angry towards something that should be making you sad, or you got upset about something that does not correlate with you. I think it is pretty safe to say that this has happened to a lot of people. But why are we reacting with our emotions like that? What do they mean?
As young children, we learn a lot from our parents about our emotions. We are taught from our families about how to deal with our emotions mentally and how to display our feelings physically. As children grow up, children see how their parents or guardians display how they are feeling.
Personally I have always wondered what my emotions mean. I would question why I am crying, when I am angry. Or why I feel happy, but I am not. I question why some things bother me, but it does not bother other people. Or why it is hard for me to talk to people and make new friends. I know I am not the only one who wonders why I feel these feelings and I hope after reading this, you will have a better understanding.
Firstly I would like to say that not everyone's emotions have the same meaning. We think that emotions come from the same part of the brain or from specific places. We think that we all have the same emotion because the same part of the brain is activated. But as I did more research, I found that our emotions come from different areas and several different parts of the brain. The different parts of our brain work together, which is why people have different emotions towards certain things.
Why am I crying?
When we see a person crying, we automatically think they are sad. Some people are hyper-saddened by the misfortunes of friends, family, and even people we have no connection with. We become upset or frustrated that we cannot address the feelings of others. We often overemphasize and become sad or upset because we want to help or fix the sad person's problems.
Even when people aren't sad, they cry. Many people may cry because they are angry or something inconvenient happened. As an example, someone may have a sick family member that is in need of comfort and support. They might cry to cope, but as we look more closely at the situation, they may feel angry or jealous that their sick family member is getting a lot of attention. That being said, they may cry because they are feeling rage, anger, and jealousy.
Why do I use humor all of the time?
We often think people use good humor as a way to stay happy and cheerful under any circumstance. Some people use humor to entertain other people as a way to lighten them up, when they seem down. Other people may use humor to maintain an appearance of unconcern when faced with a serious situation or problem. For example they may express anxiety about an unexpected problem by laughing. Some people may think this is inappropriate, although sometimes it is a way people cope with their emotions. Sometimes humor is also displayed as aggression, sometimes when others complain about aggressive antagonism, they accuse the victim of being “overly sensitive” or “unable to take a joke”
Often I see many people use humor as a way to cope with how they are feeling. They do not want others to know they are struggling or are feeling unhappy, so they use humor to act like everything is okay. Many times people will joke or laugh about a hurtful situation that is happening in their life, to cover up the pain.
Why do I get so angry?
A lot of the time we express anger in a single outburst. This may appear excessive and unreasonable to others. But, if we note events leading up to the anger outburst, we might see the situation way differently.
We may also see the outburst as reasonable and restrained. Some of us restrain anger and hold it in for long periods of time or as long as possible. This can be true in many situations, even if we are constantly provoked and abused. We may view getting angry is unreasonable, but everyone has their own limits. So when we hold in our anger as long as we possibly can, we are not expressing unreasonable anger.
Other times we get angry and explode with the slightest disappointment. The anger is excessive for the situation and is normally directed outwards towards others. We often try to intimidate our targets and show poor self control. Others will normally overlook our rage and forgive or rationalize our outburst.
Why am I experiencing grief?
We think of grieving as a normal process, often referring back to the five stages of grief. Normally it comes out as a reaction when someone has died or when some loss has taken place. Some of us grieve for the loss of a valued person and we may find ourselves asking if we did enough for that person.
Others who experience loss or death grieve for themselves. We may even feel anger about that person leaving us. We might also feel victimized by the inconvenience of the loss of that person. The sadness feeling may be absent or less intense.
What is erotic attraction?
Normally when we are erotically attracted to another person, we think they have the same feelings for us as we do towards them. Although this is not always the case. Some of us are anxiously attracted to people with a desire to please them in some kind of way. We can be easily manipulated and controlled by others erotic desires and could even be taken advantage of sexually.
Why am I feeling aggression?
Most people don't like aggressive displays. We normally judge aggressive behavior without a deeper look or question as to what created or caused the person to have aggression. Some of us very rarely have aggression, and when we blow up and get aggressive we feel guilty and get upset at ourselves for our loss of control. We explode or break due to bottled-up feelings from prolonged cruel, violent, or abusive behaviors by another person.
Other people resort to aggressive behavior by habit. Oftentimes they do not feel remorse or guilt about their aggression towards others. They see nothing wrong with their behavior and are inclined to repeat their aggressive behavior without any trigger. They go straight to their aggressive behavior to get their way with other people. Frequently they are discouraged from being aggressive only by people who are bigger bullies and have physical superior strength.
What is assertiveness?
When we see a person taking action and talking up, we assume they are confident and not scared about anything. But as we look closer at the situation, we may see a different picture. Some people speak up for others but not for themselves, and vice versa. Being assertive for other people may put us in negative situations with little self protection.
People who are not assertive often see themselves as weak. Others may view them as being passive or cowardly or unable to defend themselves.
Some people may use assertiveness to display intimidation. The forceful attitude shows that they are confident and courageous, but that is the complete opposite. If they are confronted, oftentimes their assertiveness vanishes. They lack resources for dealing with conflict or adversity. They typically only like to act assertive to bully others.
All of our emotions can mean different things and come from different places. Don't try to push away how you are feeling, embrace it! Fully feel and recognize how you are feeling.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-automatic/201903/what-do-your-emotions-mean
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/understand-emotions.html
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