What is a “people Pleaser” and why can it be bad for my mental health? A people pleaser is someone everyone typically considers kind and helpful. Normally people pleasers take too much time and effort caring about others, and normally do not establish good social support themselves. They often will find that it is hard for them to allow others to take care of them because they love to always be in control. People pleasers/pleasing can be extremely positive and good, but can also be toxic and unhealthy.
Pros about people pleasing
-Great at resolving conflicts.
-Tend to do well in their careers.
-Have attractive personalities.
-Want others to be happy.
Cons about people pleasing
-Prone to be exploited and manipulated by others.
-Assume others will do the same for them and experience disappointment when that is not the case.
-Mental fatigue and burnout occur due to working too hard and constantly assessing the needs and opinions of others.
-Their input is not sought or trusted because it's not seen as genuine feedback.
What leads to people pleasing?
Typically low self-esteem leads to people pleaser behavior. . People engage in this behavior because they don't value their own desires and needs. Due to lack of self confidence, people pleasers have a need for external validation, and they may feel that doing things for others will lead to approval and acceptance.
How can I stop people pleasing?
Be true to yourself instead of trying to fit in.
Lean to say “no”
Set healthy boundaries.
Stop making excuses.
Listen to your inner voice.
Spend some time alone.
Remember that you cannot please everyone.
Learn to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Ask others for help.
Accept yourself.
Be more honest about your feelings.
Don't dwell on your past.
To note:
Pleasing people can be very helpful, but it can cross a line. When you change the way you live your day-to-day life and how you act towards others, that is where the relationship with yourself and others may be affected negatively.
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